Brilliant! There are so many 'key phrases' in this chapter I could highlight (I can put them in a separate comment if you want to know)
The most moving thing for me in this chapter is, how close it comes to some of my own experiences with physical pain and visualisations.
I've never suffered RSD, thankfully, or any kind of accident + surgery + drug treatment of this sort. But I have healed some excruciating chronic pain (which I later discovered was 'caused by intergenerational trauma') through mental imagery and writing (= thinking + imagining + emotional experience). So it's exciting to read about a healing process of this kind woven into a novel.
This chapter was the first one published that I fully enjoyed writing. 😆
Of course I’d like to know which of the phrases jump out as key for you.
There are so many ways trauma can manifest - but chronic pain is definitely one way the body expresses it. I love in your writing how you articulate that trauma is not a competition.
What stood out for me in general in this chapter was your use of inner dialogue. This is more about style than content (your earlier chapters would come more alive, I think, if you translated some of the narration into inner dialogue = more 'showing', less 'telling' as they say)
Key phrases which stood out for me as important/precious:
Instead of trying to avoid the pain at all costs, he slowly allowed himself to become more curious about it, more vulnerable to it, to feel more of it, to listen to what the pain itself might have to say.
In other words, the very act of reading about suffering was triggering an inflammatory response at a cellular level in real time – completely beyond his conscious capacity to control.
It was one thing to theorize that the disease was “in his head” - it was quite another to directly witness the unmistakable process occurring within his own body.
What finally blew his mind wide open… was that he didn’t even have to be reading anything. All he had to do was think about something – anything - within a fearful context and he would feel that exact same RSD pain response kick in. Immediately. Every time. Like clockwork.
His thoughts alone had the power to directly cause real, physical pain.
It wasn’t just his life, but that of his family – his own wife and child. The pain wasn’t just his. It was now hurting everyone who had ever risked enough of themselves to love him.
After all, it had taken a very long sequence of many compounding events to result in the chronic pain phenomenon of RSD, so he figured it would take at least as much time to forge new painfree neural pathways.
Now, instead of being something to avoid at all costs, it had become something to feel into, to understand, to listen to, and to learn from. The pain had a message for him all along, and he wrote it at the very top of his journal, all in caps:
“WHEN YOU SLOW DOWN AND LISTEN – THE BODY ALWAYS SPEAKS.”
“I’ve re-membered my leg… literally,” he thought, thinking of his childhood beach memory while complimenting himself on the terrible Dad joke.
Thank you for the observation … so cool … the early chapters definitely start out with more exposition at the risk of not “grabbing” the reader… mirroring Paul’s external orientation to life. There is some better balance I can strike there I agree. As he goes more inward, so does the narrative style … you’re really going to enjoy the rest I think 😉
Hands down, my favorite line in this chapter is, "This was just common sense, not revelatory information from some kind of Bionic Leg Oracle." Everything in this chapter was a joy to read though. Not only is it a relief as the reader to finally follow Paul into his solution and ultimate healing for his condition, but there is a truly expansive and magical quality to Paul's revelations about the mind. His out of body dream experience was also poignant and wondrous. "Light was pulsing in and out from that heart area in waves of light, radiating out and returning in golden toroidal flows." Simply spectacular.
Beautiful Eric. What a gift of a story. I want everyone in pain to read this!!!
“The RSD pain signal itself still remained – but now, he had totally reframed its context. Now, instead of being something to avoid at all costs, it had become something to feel into, to understand, to listen to, and to learn from. The pain had a message for him all along, and he wrote it at the very top of his journal, all in caps:
“WHEN YOU SLOW DOWN AND LISTEN – THE BODY ALWAYS SPEAKS.”
Thank you so much Kim(berly? Do you have a preference?)
One of the hardest lessons, especially for anyone in pain. To embrace pain and feel into what it communicates while not condemning oneself as the "cause," is to walk a very delicate line.
Yes, a very delicate line indeed. Maybe even something in the way it's communicated, ie. "When YOU slow down and listen." There's a subtle flash-back to being a disobedient child in the way that's said, versus perhaps "When we feel open or curious..."
Brilliant! There are so many 'key phrases' in this chapter I could highlight (I can put them in a separate comment if you want to know)
The most moving thing for me in this chapter is, how close it comes to some of my own experiences with physical pain and visualisations.
I've never suffered RSD, thankfully, or any kind of accident + surgery + drug treatment of this sort. But I have healed some excruciating chronic pain (which I later discovered was 'caused by intergenerational trauma') through mental imagery and writing (= thinking + imagining + emotional experience). So it's exciting to read about a healing process of this kind woven into a novel.
Thank you!! 💖🙏
Thank you!
This chapter was the first one published that I fully enjoyed writing. 😆
Of course I’d like to know which of the phrases jump out as key for you.
There are so many ways trauma can manifest - but chronic pain is definitely one way the body expresses it. I love in your writing how you articulate that trauma is not a competition.
What stood out for me in general in this chapter was your use of inner dialogue. This is more about style than content (your earlier chapters would come more alive, I think, if you translated some of the narration into inner dialogue = more 'showing', less 'telling' as they say)
Key phrases which stood out for me as important/precious:
Instead of trying to avoid the pain at all costs, he slowly allowed himself to become more curious about it, more vulnerable to it, to feel more of it, to listen to what the pain itself might have to say.
In other words, the very act of reading about suffering was triggering an inflammatory response at a cellular level in real time – completely beyond his conscious capacity to control.
It was one thing to theorize that the disease was “in his head” - it was quite another to directly witness the unmistakable process occurring within his own body.
What finally blew his mind wide open… was that he didn’t even have to be reading anything. All he had to do was think about something – anything - within a fearful context and he would feel that exact same RSD pain response kick in. Immediately. Every time. Like clockwork.
His thoughts alone had the power to directly cause real, physical pain.
It wasn’t just his life, but that of his family – his own wife and child. The pain wasn’t just his. It was now hurting everyone who had ever risked enough of themselves to love him.
After all, it had taken a very long sequence of many compounding events to result in the chronic pain phenomenon of RSD, so he figured it would take at least as much time to forge new painfree neural pathways.
Now, instead of being something to avoid at all costs, it had become something to feel into, to understand, to listen to, and to learn from. The pain had a message for him all along, and he wrote it at the very top of his journal, all in caps:
“WHEN YOU SLOW DOWN AND LISTEN – THE BODY ALWAYS SPEAKS.”
“I’ve re-membered my leg… literally,” he thought, thinking of his childhood beach memory while complimenting himself on the terrible Dad joke.
Thank you for the observation … so cool … the early chapters definitely start out with more exposition at the risk of not “grabbing” the reader… mirroring Paul’s external orientation to life. There is some better balance I can strike there I agree. As he goes more inward, so does the narrative style … you’re really going to enjoy the rest I think 😉
Hands down, my favorite line in this chapter is, "This was just common sense, not revelatory information from some kind of Bionic Leg Oracle." Everything in this chapter was a joy to read though. Not only is it a relief as the reader to finally follow Paul into his solution and ultimate healing for his condition, but there is a truly expansive and magical quality to Paul's revelations about the mind. His out of body dream experience was also poignant and wondrous. "Light was pulsing in and out from that heart area in waves of light, radiating out and returning in golden toroidal flows." Simply spectacular.
Relief! That’s what this chapter felt like for me as an author too. I personally
relate to Paul the character here much more than the earlier chapters. Thank you for reading and commenting :)
Beautiful Eric. What a gift of a story. I want everyone in pain to read this!!!
“The RSD pain signal itself still remained – but now, he had totally reframed its context. Now, instead of being something to avoid at all costs, it had become something to feel into, to understand, to listen to, and to learn from. The pain had a message for him all along, and he wrote it at the very top of his journal, all in caps:
“WHEN YOU SLOW DOWN AND LISTEN – THE BODY ALWAYS SPEAKS.”
Thank you so much Kim(berly? Do you have a preference?)
One of the hardest lessons, especially for anyone in pain. To embrace pain and feel into what it communicates while not condemning oneself as the "cause," is to walk a very delicate line.
Yes, a very delicate line indeed. Maybe even something in the way it's communicated, ie. "When YOU slow down and listen." There's a subtle flash-back to being a disobedient child in the way that's said, versus perhaps "When we feel open or curious..."
p.s. Kim, Kimberly, K-dub, K, Kimmy, Kimbo, dork-face. I've responded to them all. ;)
K-dub it is.