Wow! Great chapter. I love your metaphors e.g. "curled up like a burnt earthworm caught out on sunbaked asphalt." ~ well, 'love' might not be the best word here, but THIS is a vivid, excellent image capturing all the experience, sensations, and hopeless destiny of Paul's present moment in one fiery sketch.
Your story structure is great too. (If recommendations of popular 'novel writing methods' are anything to go by, you are 'doing it!')
I do love the syncing between Paul's mind and the TV channel as a concept. Indeed, "what if the source was within his brain and spinal cord - in other words, the nervous system itself?"
Looking forward to Chapter 6 and reading about the Land of Eir.
Thank you Veronika I’m glad you continue to enjoy. Yes indeed I have been attempting to use a reasonably traditional novel structure for this book, at least that which I’ve absorbed over forty-ish years of reading. :)
So fascinating that for the second time in a row you picked out the one specific phrase which I changed just before publishing. Turned out to be the defining imagery for Paul’s descent.
Your latest wordcasts speak to a lot of the themes that Paul is starting to explore in the novel. Now that I’m back from traveling abroad ☘️ I look forward to reading in depth and commenting.
That's fascinating indeed. It happens to me all the time that I change something in the final edit, just before publishing. So far, I think, it always makes the piece better. I think it has something to do with the act of putting the work out, like opening another little portal in the creative mind and pushing something through...
Well, of course it's precisely our common ground which makes your story particularly interesting to me! I'm curious to see how this unravels.
And of course looking forward to your comments too
Here I was about to share my favorite line from this chapter, only to find someone else honed in on the exact same phrase! It's interesting that it's a line you changed just before publishing too. Apparently you were meant to change it. Your imagery is so vivid and visceral, it really enlivens the story, which is impressive considering the "actions" that are taking place are minimal. A man lies on the floor and speaks to God. A man turns on the TV. You do an incredible job of spiriting the intangible in ways that are utterly enthralling.
“A man lies on the floor and speaks to God. A man turns on the TV.” 😆 the ultimate expository summary. With unlimited ways to tell any story (or say or express anything at all for that matter) it’s hard not to be overwhelmed by infinite optionality. At least for me.
I never know what I’m going to write until after it’s written. I like this version!
Thanks Ben! Writing it felt that way too 🥵 Believe it or not earlier versions of the manuscript were much more Douglas Adams-esque, which was a lot more fun to write. In any case Paul’s leg had definitely been scheduled for demolition for a new hyperspace bypass long ago; he just hadn’t read the planning charts.
Wow! Great chapter. I love your metaphors e.g. "curled up like a burnt earthworm caught out on sunbaked asphalt." ~ well, 'love' might not be the best word here, but THIS is a vivid, excellent image capturing all the experience, sensations, and hopeless destiny of Paul's present moment in one fiery sketch.
Your story structure is great too. (If recommendations of popular 'novel writing methods' are anything to go by, you are 'doing it!')
I do love the syncing between Paul's mind and the TV channel as a concept. Indeed, "what if the source was within his brain and spinal cord - in other words, the nervous system itself?"
Looking forward to Chapter 6 and reading about the Land of Eir.
Thank you Veronika I’m glad you continue to enjoy. Yes indeed I have been attempting to use a reasonably traditional novel structure for this book, at least that which I’ve absorbed over forty-ish years of reading. :)
So fascinating that for the second time in a row you picked out the one specific phrase which I changed just before publishing. Turned out to be the defining imagery for Paul’s descent.
Your latest wordcasts speak to a lot of the themes that Paul is starting to explore in the novel. Now that I’m back from traveling abroad ☘️ I look forward to reading in depth and commenting.
That's fascinating indeed. It happens to me all the time that I change something in the final edit, just before publishing. So far, I think, it always makes the piece better. I think it has something to do with the act of putting the work out, like opening another little portal in the creative mind and pushing something through...
Well, of course it's precisely our common ground which makes your story particularly interesting to me! I'm curious to see how this unravels.
And of course looking forward to your comments too
(+ welcome back from travelling 🧳)
Phantom Life Disease.
A terrible and all too common affliction.
Here I was about to share my favorite line from this chapter, only to find someone else honed in on the exact same phrase! It's interesting that it's a line you changed just before publishing too. Apparently you were meant to change it. Your imagery is so vivid and visceral, it really enlivens the story, which is impressive considering the "actions" that are taking place are minimal. A man lies on the floor and speaks to God. A man turns on the TV. You do an incredible job of spiriting the intangible in ways that are utterly enthralling.
Love. This. Comment!
“A man lies on the floor and speaks to God. A man turns on the TV.” 😆 the ultimate expository summary. With unlimited ways to tell any story (or say or express anything at all for that matter) it’s hard not to be overwhelmed by infinite optionality. At least for me.
I never know what I’m going to write until after it’s written. I like this version!
Really like the constant reinforcing imagery here, it made me feel hot and drained (in a good way!) reading it. Brilliant chapter.
Thanks Ben! Writing it felt that way too 🥵 Believe it or not earlier versions of the manuscript were much more Douglas Adams-esque, which was a lot more fun to write. In any case Paul’s leg had definitely been scheduled for demolition for a new hyperspace bypass long ago; he just hadn’t read the planning charts.