“The mysterious bioelectrical explosion of his nervous system had been a spontaneous combustion of every assumption he’d ever held about life, and his brain would not rest until it had more clarity around what the heck had happened to him. He had to know more about the source of such immense power, where it all came from, and most importantly - what the point of it all was!”
These are burning questions for me too at this stage in the story.
“All of the steps I took to simplify my life and recover from RSD - all the visualization techniques I was using, the inner sensory imagery, the focused one-pointed attention and mindfulness, the conscious cultivation of coherent emotions like gratitude and joy, the purification of my diet, and especially the reduction in the noise and complexity in my immediate environment - these are actually all practices common to a boatload of spiritual, religious, and esoteric disciplines!”
This is essential information, which as a reader I would have needed earlier. Maybe I missed some paragraphs while reading?
“If Paul had had any clue as to what he was actually getting himself into, he might’ve stopped asking questions altogether and gotten on with traditional life.”
THIS I can totally relate to! 😉
“True knowledge really only came from direct experience” ❣️
“What could possibly be easier than sitting around with eyes closed?” 😅
Hi Veronika - in response to the quote: "all the visualization techniques I was using, the inner sensory imagery, the focused one-pointed attention and mindfulness, the conscious cultivation of coherent emotions like gratitude and joy, the purification of my diet, and especially the reduction in the noise and complexity in my immediate environment" -
All of these aspects and their related actions are in Chapter 6 - Where Ocean Meets Sand & Sky. Paul writing this passage in his journal is meant to show his evolving understanding, and give the reader a summary context of the previous actions taken. In future iterations I will draw a more immediate connection to specifics. Thank you!
One of the limitations of serializing is that there is much less "connective immediacy" between all aspects of the book as a reader, with that relevant chapter being released five weeks ago.
You're right. I just reread Chapter 6 ~ and I know I've read it all before (having left extensive comments is proof) ~ For some reason I had not registered the passage of time... even though it's right there.
I did remember the description of several techniques ~ and you did mention "several months" in the chapter more than once!! ~ How come I missed them?!
So when Chapter 7 and following came around I continued reading with the (false) impression that the healing process had somehow miraculously happened within a few days or almost instantly.
Not sure whether the serializing is the issue.
Having had exchanges with fellow writers in the past on our novels, I remember that conveying the passage of time can be tricky. Sometimes a couple of hours fill a whole chapter. Another time several months pass within a couple of paragraphs. How to put that into words in a memorable way can be a challenge.
Ah! This is very beneficial feedback. As a long time reader and first time author, ushering the reader through time in a way that provides sufficient coherence for the story (and trust in the narrator) is crucial.
You’re right - simply saying that time passes and making it memorable are totally different animals. I like to use the descriptions of the seasons as markers, but seeing as my book is, ultimately, a deep exploration into the nature of TIME, the more memorable I can make time transitions the better.
good point. I agree, seasons are very useful. I'm sure someone teaching or writing about creative writing has written about this topic. It must be a common one.
The other part of the issue is that there’s just too much going on in one chapter - I’d already determined that Where Ocean Meets Sand and Sky needs to be split into two chapters - the first one ending with Paul’s first ocean visualization scene and realizing the pathway forward, and the second one with his full recovery. This in itself will really allow me to set better time pacing.
I thought exactly the same! Spreading the healing modalities Paul uses over two chapters also immediately gives the sense that more time has passed and makes the healing process more plausible and memorable.
Thank you so much for recommending my story, E.T. 💜 Would love to know how you stumbled upon my Substack to find it. 😊 In the meantime, I'm off to read chapter one of Coincidence Rising. 🥂
I don’t remember who it was, but someone I follow restacked your piece “Dragon” and I was pretty blown away by it. Found “Miles in her Shoes” on your About page.
“…he was being irrevocably drawn to design an awareness expansion practice for application within his own daily life. To understand more about how life worked from the inside out. To know and to feel, not just think and theorize.” This desire to know truth from within is not for the faint of heart. I admire Paul’s determination!
“The mysterious bioelectrical explosion of his nervous system had been a spontaneous combustion of every assumption he’d ever held about life, and his brain would not rest until it had more clarity around what the heck had happened to him. He had to know more about the source of such immense power, where it all came from, and most importantly - what the point of it all was!”
These are burning questions for me too at this stage in the story.
“All of the steps I took to simplify my life and recover from RSD - all the visualization techniques I was using, the inner sensory imagery, the focused one-pointed attention and mindfulness, the conscious cultivation of coherent emotions like gratitude and joy, the purification of my diet, and especially the reduction in the noise and complexity in my immediate environment - these are actually all practices common to a boatload of spiritual, religious, and esoteric disciplines!”
This is essential information, which as a reader I would have needed earlier. Maybe I missed some paragraphs while reading?
“If Paul had had any clue as to what he was actually getting himself into, he might’ve stopped asking questions altogether and gotten on with traditional life.”
THIS I can totally relate to! 😉
“True knowledge really only came from direct experience” ❣️
“What could possibly be easier than sitting around with eyes closed?” 😅
Great chapter 🫶
Excellent feedback thank you Veronika. Will respond in more detail when I have the chance. 😎
Hi Veronika - in response to the quote: "all the visualization techniques I was using, the inner sensory imagery, the focused one-pointed attention and mindfulness, the conscious cultivation of coherent emotions like gratitude and joy, the purification of my diet, and especially the reduction in the noise and complexity in my immediate environment" -
All of these aspects and their related actions are in Chapter 6 - Where Ocean Meets Sand & Sky. Paul writing this passage in his journal is meant to show his evolving understanding, and give the reader a summary context of the previous actions taken. In future iterations I will draw a more immediate connection to specifics. Thank you!
One of the limitations of serializing is that there is much less "connective immediacy" between all aspects of the book as a reader, with that relevant chapter being released five weeks ago.
You're right. I just reread Chapter 6 ~ and I know I've read it all before (having left extensive comments is proof) ~ For some reason I had not registered the passage of time... even though it's right there.
I did remember the description of several techniques ~ and you did mention "several months" in the chapter more than once!! ~ How come I missed them?!
So when Chapter 7 and following came around I continued reading with the (false) impression that the healing process had somehow miraculously happened within a few days or almost instantly.
Not sure whether the serializing is the issue.
Having had exchanges with fellow writers in the past on our novels, I remember that conveying the passage of time can be tricky. Sometimes a couple of hours fill a whole chapter. Another time several months pass within a couple of paragraphs. How to put that into words in a memorable way can be a challenge.
Ah! This is very beneficial feedback. As a long time reader and first time author, ushering the reader through time in a way that provides sufficient coherence for the story (and trust in the narrator) is crucial.
You’re right - simply saying that time passes and making it memorable are totally different animals. I like to use the descriptions of the seasons as markers, but seeing as my book is, ultimately, a deep exploration into the nature of TIME, the more memorable I can make time transitions the better.
good point. I agree, seasons are very useful. I'm sure someone teaching or writing about creative writing has written about this topic. It must be a common one.
The other part of the issue is that there’s just too much going on in one chapter - I’d already determined that Where Ocean Meets Sand and Sky needs to be split into two chapters - the first one ending with Paul’s first ocean visualization scene and realizing the pathway forward, and the second one with his full recovery. This in itself will really allow me to set better time pacing.
I thought exactly the same! Spreading the healing modalities Paul uses over two chapters also immediately gives the sense that more time has passed and makes the healing process more plausible and memorable.
I loved Meg's piece and subscribed. Thanks for sharing it.
💜🥂
So good to hear that. She has such an impressive variety of awesome stuff. Intelligent humor and depth.
Just read your piece “Time to Say Goodbye to Bullying” - instant subscribe! 🤩
Thanks!
Thank you so much for recommending my story, E.T. 💜 Would love to know how you stumbled upon my Substack to find it. 😊 In the meantime, I'm off to read chapter one of Coincidence Rising. 🥂
I don’t remember who it was, but someone I follow restacked your piece “Dragon” and I was pretty blown away by it. Found “Miles in her Shoes” on your About page.
🤘
“…he was being irrevocably drawn to design an awareness expansion practice for application within his own daily life. To understand more about how life worked from the inside out. To know and to feel, not just think and theorize.” This desire to know truth from within is not for the faint of heart. I admire Paul’s determination!